he turned right.
I was sitting at my “desk” today—a seat at a long dinner table inside my co-working space in Georgetown. The space is filled with these beautiful, almost floor-to-ceiling windows, overlooking the C&O Canal. This part of the canal has a pedestrian foot path alongside it so when I post up here, I usually face outward—it’s great for people watching.
It was around 2pm and I was rewriting my resume, yet again. Everyday is a roller coaster of emotions, oscillating between knowing I can do this struggling entrepreneur life and desperately wanting to go back to a “real job.” Today was the latter. I spent the majority of the afternoon searching for social media management gigs I could work remotely. I briefly let my eyes wander away from my computer screen across the canal to the foot path…and there he was.
1 year, 10 months, and 6 days. That’s the last time I saw him. But who’s counting?
I live 5 blocks away from him now. Shop at the Trader Joe’s he shops at. And 2-3 days out of the week, I work out of Georgetown, two blocks away from his office. Yet it’s been 1 year, 10 months, and 6 days since I’ve seen him.
As you can imagine, my reaction was visceral. My heart rate skyrocketed from the mid-50s to 94. Or at least that’s what my FitBit told me. Skip the feeling of butterflies, I became straight up nauseous. My whole body started shaking and I suddenly felt light-headed.
I have plenty of ex-boyfriends. But this one, this one is different. Around the time things were going south, my car was totaled and I needed to get a new one. He had an Audi so I stupidly went to the Audi dealership and signed my name on the dotted financing line. I’m a very logical person, but to this day, I can’t explain the logic of that decision.
As he sauntered across the foot path, his eyes looked through the windows, towards where I sat. I desperately wanted him to see me, but I knew he couldn’t.
There was only one place he could possibly be going—the coffee shop underneath my co-working space. I made a split second decision, got up, and ran out of the building. Once I was outside I turned left and went to the foot path. He was inside ordering coffee — do I go in too? Or do I wait for him to come to the foot path? I paced for a few moments, turned around and went back towards the entrance to my co-working space. I hesitated and thought maybe I should go into the coffee shop and order something.
I started to make my way towards the coffee shop as he walked out. I wanted him to turn left. I wanted him to come back to the foot path and cross my path, or rather, I cross his. I wanted him to see me and instantly miss me.
But he turned right. He didn’t come back to the foot path. He turned right, walking down the sidewalk towards the waterfront. He turned right, oblivious that I was right there the whole time. I went back upstairs to my computer. I grabbed a fresh cup of coffee and sat down, staring across the canal to the foot path.